Juan Martinez

JUAN MARTINEZ
1984-2018

My Song

I grew up in Brackettville TX, married my high school sweetheart and had 3 beautiful children. We lived with my “dad” who adopted me as a young boy. I worked for the Highway Department. Life was good. Then my life changed. I took a stand for my family’s honor; a sudden decision amidst deep emotions. I never saw my family again.

I spent 20 years surrounded by concrete and separated from any fragment of the good life as I once knew it. But I found God…I mean my very own personal God. I had always believed in God, but I never really felt His presence. Now some people talk about God as King, God as Ruler, God as Savior, God by many titles. But for me, God was truly my Shepherd. I marveled and felt so blessed that God, my Shepherd, left the flock and actually went out to find me! Imagine that! He lifted me up on His shoulders and carried me back to safety. I read my Bible a lot, worked hard, and became the model volunteer, always willing to go out of my way to help. I got out early, good behavior.

My Shepherd led me back to safety by a long, hard, circuitous route lasting about 15 years. Many people might have given up. I certainly felt like it several times, even threw myself over a train track hoping a train would come soon. During better times I was known under the bridge, as “Johnny Montana”, the tough guy who would protect the vulnerable and share the last dime he had. Everyone knew my camp site because I always staked it out with a US flag, a Bible, and an army green blanket. I was also known for my singing of Psalm 23 – I made up my own tune. Wherever I would go, especially at church services under the bridge, I was asked to sing. Almost everyone would cry. I am not sure my singing was all that great, but I bellowed it out from my heart…my Shepherd was always right beside me. I felt it, yes, I truly felt it.

My Shepherd guided me by right paths to a wonderful last stage of life in my very own casita, surrounded by dear friends who really cared about me. Life was good again and I lacked nothing. But it was not easy…my body got weak and my kidneys gave out. I decided to stop dialysis, but I feared no evil because I knew my Shepherd was always with me. I willingly and gently was led to the final green pasture to dwell in the house of my Lord forever.